... Watch
‘Have a butcher’s at that mate! Swing left, left, left … there look!’
‘I can’t see anything. What are you talking about man!’
‘It’s that family in Manhattan again. The mum’s screaming at the kids and the dad’s just hiding behind his New York Times! She’s going to blow a gasket!’
‘Give over! Is that the best you can do! Come on – let’s look at that lad in Tokyo again … No! No! You’ve missed! You’ve got Bejing – I’m fed up of looking at them. All they do is gab! Pull back across a bit. There you are.’
‘Blimey! What do you think he’s up to? He’s in that office again, I’m sure he’s not meant to be there …’
‘Don’t worry about that now. Hover over Twickenham – there’s something there I want to see.’
‘I don’t think we’re supposed to be watching the Rugby you know mate …’
‘Oh, just for a bit …’
‘Go and look at that posh couple in Harrogate again.’
‘Yes, but they’ve been so boring, man …’
‘Look out for fireworks now though!’
‘What have you been doing? Don’t tell me you’ve been interfering again. You’ll get us both sacked! The boss is already narked with us!’
‘I didn’t say that now did I. But if we keep watching them they’re bound to do something interesting eventually. Stands to reason!’
***
‘How long’s this been going on?’
‘Nothing’s going on! I swear to you I’ve never looked at another woman!’
‘How do you explain this then?’
‘I tell you – I’ve never seen this before. I don’t know who she is or why she’s writing to me. Maybe she’s insane or something.’
‘Well, she’s not the only one. This marriage is driving me mad, and I’ve still got that really creepy feeling all the time. Like someone’s watching us or something.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. You really are insane if you think that.’
‘I’ve been thinking about asking you for a divorce for a while now. This really is the last straw! I’m going back to my mother!’
‘What! No! You can’t leave me … you can’t leave me. I can’t cope without you. What will I do … ?’
***
‘That’s torn it man! She’s really gone off on one now!’
‘Blimey! I think you’re right … maybe I shouldn’t have sent that letter after all…’
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10 comments:
I am SO jealous!
You capture different voice so well.
x
Good stuff Helen and I'm in need of more. It's very intriguing. Who are the spy camera people?
The dialogue is spot on!
You are so very clever Helen. I can't do dialogue and capture voice for the life of me (usually it comes out so stilted and WRONG, I put it down to the fact that my characters are never actually speaking english - but are, as it were, but the truth is I am crap!)...
I was disappointed that it didn't continue. Is this an excerpt because it feels like a short story in dialogue to me!
Caroline - thanks darling. I am in awe of how you did it in Disraeli Avenue.
Lane - it's meant to be a cross between Big Brother and Google Earth. (I do get some strange ideas don't I?)
Pacha - you're here! I'm so happy! This was originally microfiction, but I've subsequently developed the idea into a much longer and more serious story which is currently out in a competition. So as I'm now not intending to do anything with this I thought I'd see what my lovely blog readers think x
That's great dialogue Helen, I love the way you post your work for us to read - I wish I had that bravery!
Wow, you are so clever. I wish I could write like that.
Yvonne - thanks, I always meant this blog to be a mix of fact and fiction (hence the title!) but I felt I'd lost track of that a bit recently.
Debs - I wrote this a while ago and I just wanted to post it to remind myself of what it's like when writing is fun.
This is so good Helen. More please.
Great Stuff! Reminds me of the future dangers of Google Earth though in the wrong hands!
Fiona - thanks my dear.
Kerry - yes, it is an interesting thought isn't it?
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