... Diary ...
OK, so I’ve found a new way to upset her. It’s called ‘pretending to be ill’.
It’s her own fault though. She insists on taking me to the vet every year, and letting him maul me about and stick needles in me. I mean, should I have to put up with that?
Anyway, the vet thought I was looking a bit off colour (no he didn’t Smudge, you’re tabby and you’ve got fur, how can you look off colour? Mummy) and I’ve lost a bit of weight.
So he took my blood pressure and it was slightly up. There’s just a teeny, tiny chance that this was because I’d been thrashing around on the table for ten minutes before I let him put the cuff on me.
Apparently my thyroid is slightly enlarged as well, but that does happen to us cats as we get older – so I’m not to worry too much about that.
Because of all this, the vet suggested to Mummy that it would be a good idea to do a blood test. Personally, I thought that was just an excuse to stick another needle in me.
Later on, the vet phoned Mummy to say that the blood readings for my kidneys were slightly wrong, so she was going to have to buy some expensive kidney diet food for me and also a urine testing kit.
This is where it starts to get really funny. Mummy put some of the expensive food in a dish for me and I showed a suitable amount of interest. Mummy wandered off happily thinking I was eating it, but I’ll let you into a secret – I wasn’t. I was just licking off the gravy and leaving the rest. Unfortunately, Mummy’s a bit slow, so she put five more lots of this stuff down before she worked out that I wasn’t going to eat it!
Meanwhile, and this is a bit embarrassing, Mummy needed to take a urine sample to the vet so I had to wee in a litter tray. And, to cut a long story short, when the vet tested my wee he found there was nothing wrong with my kidneys!
So, my kidneys are fine, I’ve wasted lots of Mummy’s time and money, and I don’t have to eat the cr**py food. Quite a result really!
(Actually Smudge – before you laugh too much, we’ve got to do another urine test in three months and apparently ‘if I’m at all worried’ you’ve got to have another blood test! Mummy)