... Diary ...
OK, so I’ve found a new way to upset her. It’s called ‘pretending to be ill’.
It’s her own fault though. She insists on taking me to the vet every year, and letting him maul me about and stick needles in me. I mean, should I have to put up with that?
Anyway, the vet thought I was looking a bit off colour (no he didn’t Smudge, you’re tabby and you’ve got fur, how can you look off colour? Mummy) and I’ve lost a bit of weight.
So he took my blood pressure and it was slightly up. There’s just a teeny, tiny chance that this was because I’d been thrashing around on the table for ten minutes before I let him put the cuff on me.
Apparently my thyroid is slightly enlarged as well, but that does happen to us cats as we get older – so I’m not to worry too much about that.
Because of all this, the vet suggested to Mummy that it would be a good idea to do a blood test. Personally, I thought that was just an excuse to stick another needle in me.
Later on, the vet phoned Mummy to say that the blood readings for my kidneys were slightly wrong, so she was going to have to buy some expensive kidney diet food for me and also a urine testing kit.
This is where it starts to get really funny. Mummy put some of the expensive food in a dish for me and I showed a suitable amount of interest. Mummy wandered off happily thinking I was eating it, but I’ll let you into a secret – I wasn’t. I was just licking off the gravy and leaving the rest. Unfortunately, Mummy’s a bit slow, so she put five more lots of this stuff down before she worked out that I wasn’t going to eat it!
Meanwhile, and this is a bit embarrassing, Mummy needed to take a urine sample to the vet so I had to wee in a litter tray. And, to cut a long story short, when the vet tested my wee he found there was nothing wrong with my kidneys!
So, my kidneys are fine, I’ve wasted lots of Mummy’s time and money, and I don’t have to eat the cr**py food. Quite a result really!
(Actually Smudge – before you laugh too much, we’ve got to do another urine test in three months and apparently ‘if I’m at all worried’ you’ve got to have another blood test! Mummy)
18 comments:
Oh Smudge you are a minx, but so so so cute.
x
Thank you, Auntie Caroline x
So so cute. Smudge is a gal after my own heart - likes causing trouble and believes you can never have too much gravy!:)
Poor Smudge! I have a 20-year-old cat whose kidneys are going, she's on a daily Fortekor tablet and Hills k/d. Was it the pouches of that? Av adores it (she gets one once a week as a treat and is on the dried version the rest of the time), but my brother's cat is the same as Smudge, just licks the gravy off it and leaves the rest.
Kerry - you're so right about gravy, but I was a little concerned that a diet of just gravy wasn't that nutritious ...
Caroline - it was Royal Canin - 'renal'. Sounds yummy doesn't it?
apparently cats are in today... this is the third blog i've come across discussing the wierd and wonderful world views of cats :P
i hope revenge is sweet helen ;-)
To cheer you up, Smudge, did you know what the 'cuff' vets use to take pets blood pressure actually is?
I will have to email you privately if not.
Hint - think what worries male humans?
Bart - now you have me wondering who the other three are!
Whoops, that should be 'the other two!' Clearly I can't count.
Auntie Fiona - Mummy and I are intrigued and would definitely like to know what you mean!
Honestly Smudge, messing your mother about like that! Glad that everything is working as it should be though:-)
My cat licks the gravy off any of those canned foods. Never eats the lumpy bits. He prefers the dogs chicken and rice and I can't say I blame him:-)
Auntie Lane - it doesn't do any harm to keep her on her toes ...
Tut tut, Smudge. If Molly-dog tried a trick like that I'd be Very Cross Indeed. Trouble is, you pets are so darn cute!
What a lovely cat you are, my dear.
And so clever!
Please do tell are you writing the book instaed of your Mummy, if you are make sure she buys you lots of nice things with your share of the money....lol
Best wishes
Annie
Auntie Karen - I shouldn't think Molly-dog is as naughty as me ...
Auntie Annie - Mummy thinks she's writing the novel, but actually a LOT of the good ideas are mine
Naughty, naughty Smudge. Me and my daughter Sal would never dream of doing anything like that. Mind you, our mum doesn't take us to the vet for annual check ups. Is she supposed to? I think I went years ago after Sal and her brothers were born. Came back with no fur on my left side. Not a good look for one as beautiful as me.
Mir
Hi Mir - yes Mummy is a bit of a drag about taking me to the vet for a check up and injections every year, maybe it's because I pretend to be ill a fair bit (Mummy and Uncle Jason call it attention seeking)or maybe Mummy fancies the vet? It's hard to say.
Cheeky Smudge! she sounds just like Twinkle (my young lady!) Hope she doesnt need to be on a special diet as they seem to hate vet food in my experience. And a visit to the vets is enough to raise any self respecting cats blood pressure!
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